Final anxiety

Confession time. After being a streamer for 18 days and having overcome many anxieties, I still have one final anxiety remaining – meeting new people.

You see, I am currently actively looking for friends on Reddit. I read people’s posts, I leave comments, DM people, and I make my own posts of course. Then on Reddit Chat there’s a bit of communication between me and the people I find. We exchange Discord usernames and the idea is that on Discord we will get to know each other better and go into voice chat. Possibly even play games together. But that’s when it becomes a problem for me.

As soon as we are in Discord, I kind of close up. I know that I was the one who initiated the contact on Reddit. I know I am the one who asked to be friends in voice chat. But I just get this bad anxiety of taking that one final step of starting a conversation. And so instead of just diving in regardless of anxiety, I simply turn off my laptop and go to sleep, hoping that when I wake up, I will finally have the courage to start that conversation.

Don’t get me wrong, once the conversation starts, once we get to know each other, then I feel quite comfortable talking and sharing. Once we are friends, then there’s no more anxiety for me. But making that leap of faith into our first conversation is where I am failing so far.

Prediction: I will get over that anxiety eventually. But until then, this is my confession - for any potential new friend to read and understand me better, understand why I may seem disinterested on Discord.

If you are reading this, dear future friend, there is something you can do to help me get over my anxiety. You could take the first step and message me yourself. I will definitely respond. Maybe not right away. But I will respond. And we will get to know each other, and we will get the conversation going, and become true friends. So just message me :)